There will be a wedding at the Vander Harts in 2 weeks. Do you know how I know? The house constatly smells like either bread, for the rolls, or spinch squares for some of the hor derves. Every saturday all you can hear is some machine, or radio blaring out of our 1800's barn, which Jeff, myself and my dad have been working on almost every weekend since July 4th. Most of my money is paying someone for something that has to do with that day. And My room has exploded, there is no furniture, it has moved into my future apartment with Jeff. I have a bed,and two laundry baskets. One of clean clothes, one of dirty.

So Yes, there will be a wedding at my house. It is still so sureal. Its like I never really thought I would get married. I kept dating so many jerks. Why would I finally find someone I love so much. Someone who my family loves, my church likes, and who treats me like a princess. 

When two become one keeps floating around in my head. We have already merged bank accounts, and that has been kinda weird. But I am realizing how my time isn't really my own anymore. When I get off work, I still need to get laundry and dishes, and grocery shopping done. That isn't going to change either, only become more complicated as we umm, mulitiply. I keep thinking how weird it will be to sleep with my husband, and It will be ok, it is God glorifying.  To seperate from my family. Christmas will be shared. Thanksgiving will be shared. I have to buy presents for another family. 

I don't know, I just dont really know what to expect. I don't know how it will be. Anyone have any comments on how their life changed when they first got married? 

So I am coming to realize, my wedding is coming up in a little over a month and not too many people know my fiance Jeff Voss very well, or how we met, or anything. So her is the scoop:

Four Years ago I started taking classes at Scott Community college and had a psycology class. I came in saw jeff thought he was cute so I sat as far away from him as possible. But he happend to be sitting near a girl I worked with at The Gap so she conviced me to come sit by her, hence next to Jeff also. One day I missed Psycology and I saw him in the library, It took awhile but I talked myself into sitting down at his table and chatted him up while I got notes. From there we struck up a friendship and I started coming to school early looking forward to entertaining the sad boy from psycology class who alwasy sat at the same table. He had just broken up with his first love, and he was very mopy, so I lover making him laugh, and entertaining him. At the end of the semester I got him to ask me out to a movie, Lord of the rings.  We had a fun time, but I didn't feel either of us were ready to pursue anything, I was 21 he was only 19. so we saw each other around school once in awhile, but he didn't call me again, and i had moved on sadly.

Four years later:

I am a differnt girl, I know what I want in life. I want to be a chef, I want to run the world and no one will stop me. My Chef at the outing club teases me beginning of November that the Kitchen had only 2 rules, I forget the first but the second he tells me while laughing is that you cant get married till your 40. I tell him NO PROBLEM, I am NEVER getting married. I have had my share of pigs.

Two days later.... I got a message from that nice boy from SCC on face book, he wondered what I was up too, and maybe we could catch up if I wanted too some time.  (he had been thinking about me at least once a week for the past 4 years, but decided to look me up, God was in the process of making me eat my words) It all seemed harmless enough, he was a nice quite guy back then, and I was lonely with work and sleep as my only habits. So we met. Our first date was great so he sent me flowers at work, in the middle of my 16 hours shift. I got home and made him a bourban bannana cream pie with kohloa cream and left it at his house. We had exchanged gifts to express our feelings.

It seemed like we picked up right where we left off. Only he had grown up, and I was falling in love. i fought it hard and tried to leave town, anything to not fall in love but it was inevitable. He was my match....

Jeff is a poor college student so he donated plasma till he could afford the right I liked, a beatiful 1 carrot opal righ with 4 diamonds on each side. He donated plasma again till he could afford to take me to the nicest most expensive restaurant in town then took me too his house where we watched a U-Tube Video called re-discovering tiffanies. Trying to get his friends to say nice things about him, and them joking around. The ending he said There is something i want to ask you. and the film cut, and he turned the chair to him and he was on his knee and he asked. I of course said yes. We have now been engaged longer than we have been together, maybe questionable to some. But i had dated enough guys to know, I wanted him; and thats it. We will be married October 4th 2008.

So I havn't updated in awhile.  Not too much has been going on. I might be moving back to my parents.  I am not sure how I feel yet. I love my family, but I am nervous about living with the business again. I tend to stress out for the business when in fact I am no longer work there, so it should be none of my concern, but I am of course attached.  Life at the Outing Club has been ok, still adjusting.  I dont get as much feed back, so I really dont know how I'm doing.  Most compliments are followed by constructive criticism, and most of the time I just feel kinda lost and dumb, there is so much I dont know.

Chef has been very kind to me, but I dont really see him tons, he works days and I work nights, so I see him maybe and hour or two a day, and usually that counts for his time in the office, and my time not in the office.  He is trying to reach out to me though, I can tell, sometimes it makes me laugh... like on saturday whenI was de-stemming parsley to chop, chef came and stood by me and said  nothing for about a minute or two then said,
"do you like Parsley?"   He has already asked me if I like- butter, sherry, chicken, tenderloin, (both beef and pork) maltice sauce, hollandaise, chocolate, vanilla.....  I really appreciate the fact that he is trying to make me more comfortable, and I sometimes have a hard time not laughing when he starts asking me for the 4th time if I like butter, but its the thought that counts right?

So I want to know your opinion on this, I was invited by a past male co-worker to go to Six flags for 3 days with co-workers, its an all expense paid trip, I just have to show up. Here is the catch, he has a bit of a thing for me, so do I go on a much needed vacation, after all I have already told him numerous times I'm not into him, or do I avoid the trip since I would have to spend alot of time with him and I think he still thinks there is a chance.  What is  your opionion on this?